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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25102957">the reunion.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahsviolets/pseuds/hannahsviolets'>hannahsviolets</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Naked Brothers Band - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, M/M, TW: Domestic Abuse, TW: Panic Attacks, TW: Slurs, TW: Violence, TW: addiction, tw: unspecified mental illness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:42:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25102957</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahsviolets/pseuds/hannahsviolets</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>nine years after a huge falling out, nat decides to get back to what made him the happiest - playing music with his brother, his friends and the girl he (still) loves. but the journey to happiness will never be an easy one.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>David/Thomas, Nat/Kristina, Nat/Rosalina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the reunion.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“It’s the fifteen year anniversary of the formation of the once great, now washed up rock group, The Naked Brothers Band,” MTV’s newest jockey announced in a fake pitiful voice to thousands of viewers. “We’re filling you in on what’s going on with the former members - or rather, what’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>going on with most of them, as I should say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Obviously, the most successful post NBB career of the group has been Quassim Middleton, who is most notable for winning season fourteen of </span>
  <em>
    <span>American Idol</span>
  </em>
  <span>. While he was once the group’s guitarist, has impressive pipes have led to many fans questioning whether he should have been the lead singer of the Naked Brothers. He is currently rumored to be in a relationship with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Spiderman</span>
  </em>
  <span> star, Zendaya. Then, well, all of their careers kind of go downhill from here. Kristina Reyes, the bassist who replaced Rosalina Tai following her nasty breakup with front man Nat Wolff, has somewhat of a presence on the indie music scene. She’s probably most famous for her alleged affair with Nat, after the two were seen smoking cigarettes outside a Paul McCartney concert last spring - or, perhaps, she’s most infamous for getting into an altercation with a fan outside of a nightclub in 2015. Whatever the case may be, Kristina from the Bronx sure hasn’t made much of a name for herself in the years since her NBB days. Speaking of Rosalina though, she’s matured past music and graduated from Harvard Law School in 2018. According to her Instagram, she’s dating a much older man - and she doesn’t like talking too much about her tenure in the Naked Brothers. One can only guess why that is,” the jockey notes sarcastically as Rosalina’s picture disappears from the screen. “David Levi is a bit of a closet case - in more ways, than one. He was rumored to be in a relationship with </span>
  <em>
    <span>13 Reasons Why </span>
  </em>
  <span>actor Brandon Flynn, but that was never confirmed and was the source of much speculation from more of the hardcore NBB fans. He’s stayed under the radar other than that, occasionally making appearances at some upper class NYC restaurants to play the piano. What’s most interesting about him though, is perhaps his friendship breakup with former best friend, Thomas Batuello, NBB’s cellist/bassist. Thomas went to NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, majoring in music, and from what we’ve heard, had a bit of a promiscuous reputation. A far cry from his days as the least popular member of NBB - unless you count his fanbase in Cleveland. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex Wolff, on the other hand, a more popular member of the band despite being the youngest, seems to have given up on drumming and put most of his energy into being passed around from rehab to rehab for his alcohol problem, which was rumored to have started after the passing of his father, Sonny. One can only remember back when it was a soda problem when he was still in NBB’s predecessor, the Silver Boulders. Oh, how the times change. He was also linked to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stranger Things </span>
  </em>
  <span>star Maya Hawke for a hot minute, but she allegedly kicked him to the curb following his third stint in rehab. His brother, lead singer and songwriter Nat, was most famous back in the day for being the band’s frontman as well as his relationship with Rosalina. Since she cheated on him with that French guy no one remembers the name of, though, his dating life has been all over the place. He’s been linked to Cara Delevingne, Selena Gomez, Margaret Qualley, Suki Waterhouse and Ashley Benson, just to name a few. Seems like the “girl magnet” title never really wore off. He still writes music, but for other musicians now like Ed Sheerhan and even collaborates with Taylor Swift, a close friend of his. As stated earlier, he is still in contact with Kristina Reyes, although his relationship with other former NBB members is unclear. He can normally be found cleaning up after Alex, and paparazzi shots come out every few months of him walking the family’s dog, Lucky. Nat is definitely the most reclusive of the group, but we do know that his net worth is currently -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat rolled his eyes as he shut off the television. “Oh, fuck you,” he grumbled as he buried his face into his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kristina lay next to him, beautiful in the light of the fire burning across from the bed. This was how things usually went between them. She’d come over late at night when Alex had passed out, they’d fool around, and then they’d watch whatever shitty “Behind the Music” was playing on MTV.  The routine was simple, but nice. It gave some sort of excitement to Nat’s boring life, but he liked to keep things boring. Better that than crazy like Alex’s was. After all, someone needed to look after his brother.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? You don’t like that I’m famous for my “altercation” with one of your fangirls?” Kristina laughed, wrapping her arms around his torso.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat was in too much of a bad mood to joke with her. “I don’t like any of it. I don’t like the way they talk about any of us,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but . . . it’s not like it’s lies. Pretty much all of it is true,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t remind me,” he grumbled. In the back of his head, he wasn’t sure what was worse - not talking to any of his friends since the band’s breakup in 2011, Alex’s addiction being so publicized, or Rosalina’s relationship with this skeevy old dude. In the rational part of his mind, he knew what the answer was, and he hated himself for even comparing the three. “It’s just . . . I guess I don’t like to be reminded of how fucked everything is,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry to tell you this, buddy, but we couldn’t stay twelve forever,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it’s that that hurts the most. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just . . . I don’t know. Sometimes I wish things would go back to the way that they were then. Like maybe everyone was happier,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or maybe just </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> were happier,” Kristina sits up a little, leaning on her hand. “I like where I am now,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Making no money and performing in shitty hole-in-the wall joints for forty year old men who used to jack off to you when you were a kid?” It comes out harsh, but Nat quickly realizes it was a harsh statement in general, and any way that he would’ve put it would’ve hurt her. Kristina is quick to offend, always has been, and he doesn’t know why he said it. Before her expression can change, he sits up quickly. “Look, I didn’t mean -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s already standing up though, pulling the sheets around her as she stands like she’s suddenly embarrassed to be naked in front of him. “Whatever. Go fuck yourself, Nat,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kristina, c’mon -” he tries to grab at her arm, but she shakes him off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, seriously, fuck you,” she pulls the sheets off the bed and drags them into the other room, picking up her clothes from the floor as she makes her way out. She slams the door behind her, and Nat knows that she probably woke up Alex, but he can’t bring himself to get up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s a dick and he knows it. He has been for a while now. It’s why he can never manage to keep a girlfriend. Good looks and vapid love songs can only lead you so far in life. Kristina usually puts up with it, though. She finds him charming, for some reason, and when they’d reconnected after she’d been the only one to show up to his father’s wake in 2016 besides Cooper (and yes, that really stung), he’d found himself into her. Not into her enough to have a real relationship, he hadn’t had feelings like that in . . . a long time, but into her, nonetheless. And when she said she’d always had a thing for him, it made him feel like maybe things didn’t have to be so different. Like maybe they would’ve had a thing when they were kids, if it weren’t for . . . other things. And to be honest, anything that reminded him of the past, the way that things used to be, was a good thing to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nat!” comes a loud shout. Nat throws his pillow over his face, but knows he has to get up. Alex needs him. Sometimes that feels like the only reason he’s still alive and dealing with life, because he knows if he wasn’t here, Alex wouldn’t be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He throws on some boxers and a bathrobe, picks a twelve year old Lucky up from the edge of his bed and goes into Alex’s room. “You okay, man?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a few pill bottles next to the bed that Nat chooses to ignore for the moment, and he moves Alex’s legs over and takes a seat with Lucky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your girlfriend woke me up,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s not my girlfriend. And I’m sorry. I said some stupid shit,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What a shock,” said Alex. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat tosses a pillow at him. “Don’t even talk to me about ‘stupid shit.’”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex reaches over for a bottle of tequila, but Nat slaps his hand away. “Can you fucking stop for like two seconds? I can’t . . . I can’t keep doing this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jesse had even given up on him a few years ago, running off with some girl she’d met when Nat had taken her backstage to a Taylor Swift concert. She’d said that she just couldn’t deal with looking after him anymore when he didn’t want to be looked after. Nat knew that Alex really took that to heart - not in the way that he would stop drinking, but in the way that he’d use it as an excuse to keep drinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, if it weren’t for me, you’d just spend your days laying around doing nothing,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t . . . I think . . . dude, can we talk? Like seriously talk for a sec?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex grabbed his head, but sat up. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was just watching a new Behind the Music about us, the old us, and I . . . I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about the old days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh. Here we go. You gotta realize we’re not kids anymore, man. Everyone has a life now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I don’t even know if I want to see those guys. They couldn’t even fucking show up to dad’s wake,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like you would’ve spoken to them if they’d come . . .” The reason the band had broken up was a long story. It had started because Quassim had started to think that he was growing too mature for the band’s kiddie image. And then David had started acting weird - about things that Nat had suspected, but he’d never gotten confirmation on - and he and Thomas had started refusing to speak to each other. Cooper knew the reason, but had refused to spread their business, even years after the fact. And then there was the Rosalina problem. They’d never gotten back together after their big break up, and things had remained somewhat awkward, but when Rosalina decided she wanted to go away to college and become a lawyer, that had been the last straw. Nat wrote one final song about his feelings about the situation, they’d played one more gig (without Rosalina) and then he’d had a breakdown on stage in front of thousands of people. The guys were pretty understanding about it, except for Thomas, who’d called him a “faggot” which led to David knocking him in the jaw, which led to Kristina and Cooper having to break up a brawl. That had also been the night Alex had his first sip of alcohol. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a disaster, to say the least. And neither him nor Alex had spoken to any of the guys since. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I think I would’ve. You know, I . . . think even then, I missed them. They’re my oldest friends. And I know shit got really messed up towards the end, but that doesn’t change all the good times we had.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex shrugged. “Still. I don’t think it’s worth harping on the past if you’re not going to do anything about it,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I think I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to do something about it,” Nat explained. “Like, it’s our fifteen year anniversary. What if we did do something? Like a reunion special?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex laughed for about two minutes. “You think those guys would come back for that? Everyone hates each other! And don’t even get me started on Rosalina -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about Rosa- what about her?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You spend enough time stalking her Instagram and Twitter already. I don’t need you stalking her in person too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That is not true! I just - I look at what everyone’s doing on social media,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even follow her, creep,” Alex fell back down on the mattress, pulling Lucky to his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Her </span>
  </em>
  <span>aside, I think the guys might go for it. Cooper hinted that they all kind of need the money. You can’t live off residuals forever,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t change the fact that you can’t have a Naked Brothers Band reunion without Rosalina. She’s like an original member.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat sighed. “Whatever. I’ll have Cooper talk to her. We’ll figure something out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re sure you want to do this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex sighed. “Man, you know I’ll do anything for you, so I’m in. On one condition.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You fix things with Jesse for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat still kept in contact with his old babysitter. They were pretty good friends now, but she was still so mad at Alex. She’d felt so let down by him, and he couldn’t blame her. But if it would get Alex to agree, if it would get some happiness to return into his life, he’d go for it. “Sure. Deal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*********</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat called Cooper the next morning. Cooper had thought it was a good idea, but he also wasn’t sure that he’d be able to get everyone. “David’ll do it. But Quassim thinks he’s too big for us now, and after what happened at the last concert, I really don’t think we’ll get Thomas. You’d know more about Kristina than I would, and as for Rosalina . . . I mean, we keep in touch, but she doesn’t like talking about the old days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if . . . what if </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>talk to her?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper laughed out loud at that. “You two haven’t spoken in like seven years. And did you forget, she has a boyfriend and your ‘girl magnet’ shit won’t work?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, I don’t need to put on an act. I’ll just be honest. Well, that, or I’ll come up with some schpeel about how it’ll be good for Alex. Which I guess wouldn’t really be a lie. It will be good for him to start playing again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper shrugged. “She does have a soft spot for him,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And Thomas’ll do it for the money. And if I let Quassim play like one of his own songs, he might do it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a moment of pause before Cooper puts his head in his hands, and then lifts it up. “Okay. I’ll talk to some networks, see what I can do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat hugged him tightly. He knew that Cooper harbored some resentment toward the rest of the band. He’d always been most loyal to Nat, and he hadn’t liked the way that they’d all left the band. So the fact that he’d even consider doing this for him continued to say a lot about his loyalty and his heart, which Nat appreciated. He figured he’d do something special for him once the reunion was over and done with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*******</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David agreed as soon as Cooper had asked. Thomas was another story. He’d initially said that he refused to do it if David was going to be there, which led to Cooper having to offer him more money, which led to him saying yes. Quassim had been a different story. He’d wanted to play five of his new songs in exchange for his participation in the concert. Cooper had talked him down to two, but he still said that it was a maybe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat had talked to Kristina himself. He’d showed up at her apartment and gotten down on his knees and begged. He took her hand into his and gave her his best puppy dog eyes. “I know I was a huge dick and I shouldn’t have said all that stuff, I mean, even if you hate me, it’ll be a really good opportunity for you! You can play one of your songs on national television! And besides that, I really think -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nat,” Kristina took her hand back. “I love the Naked Brothers Band. I wouldn’t even be a musician if it weren’t for you guys. Of course I’ll do it,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He jumped up from the ground and threw his arms around her. She backed up a little. “Hey, just because I’m doing this, doesn’t mean we’re cool.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Well, I still am really sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You won’t be for long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does that mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It means that the second Rosalina gets involved, you’re gonna forget all about me and go right back to fawning all over her like you’re nine years old again,” she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the doorframe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wh-what? That is so </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>true . . .”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it is. I see you looking at her socials whenever you think I’m asleep,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No - come on, I just -” But Nat knew that he really wasn’t fooling anyone. He’d denied it to two different people in the past few days - both of which knew him well enough to see right through him. Okay, so maybe he had spent at least one night a week going through Rosalina’s Instagram trying to see who she was following, her tagged photos and what she was doing with her boyfriend. Nat didn’t know much about him, other than that she had met him while she was a student at Harvard and that he was a professor. They seemed happy enough, but it still bothered him after all these years to see her with someone else. She was his first love, and his heart he knew that no one would or could ever compare to her. But that didn’t change the fact that she’d moved beyond him and would probably laugh in his face if he ever said anything relating to getting back together. His heart raced in his chest just thinking about the prospect of seeing her again . . . “Okay, you got me. I still love her. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. And it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> stupid -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, it’s not,” Kristina’s exterior softened suddenly, and she put her hand on his chest, holding the other in her own. “Love is never stupid. If you still care about her, you should do something about it,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She has a boyfriend. Who she like, really loves,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Social media can be deceiving. Maybe she feels the same way as you,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat shrugged. “I’m supposed to Skype with her tomorrow. Cooper’s setting it up. I thought that if I talked to her, she’d be into doing the reunion, but now that I think about it, I think it’ll just piss her off. But </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> the one who should be pissed off! She couldn’t even - I mean, she didn’t even contact me after the media frenzy of our last concert AND didn’t have the decency to reach out to me after my dad died! She’s always the one in the wrong and I’m just -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Relax. Maybe tell Cooper you can’t do it?” Kristina suggested.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, because she definitely won’t do it if he asks her. There’s at least a </span>
  <em>
    <span>chance </span>
  </em>
  <span>that some nostalgia will make her want to reconnect - for the reunion, of course,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Kristina says with a knowing glint in her eye. “I think, though, maybe it’ll work out. Even if you’re kind of a dick,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hoped to God she was right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>******</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cooper had told Rosalina that he was going to Skype her that day because he had a question for her. He hadn’t told her about Nat’s presence, which Cooper had thought was a bad idea, but Nat insisted it was for the best. Nat was shaking, he was so nervous, and Cooper attempted to calm him as he loaded up Skype.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within seconds, Rosalina’s beautiful, now matured face, was on the screen for Nat to see from where he was sitting, but she couldn’t see him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Rosalina,” Cooper beamed, giving her a wave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Cooper! What’s up?” God, even the sound of her voice sent shivers down Nat’s spine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so don’t be mad . . . but there’s something I - well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>we </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to talk to you about,” he said and Rosalina was silent, as if she knew what was about to happen. Cooper motioned for Nat to come in front of the camera and he took a giant breath before obliging. He did one final brush through his hair, before taking a seat next to Cooper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, hi, Rosalina,” Her name sounded strange after not having said it so long. Her eyes widened for a moment, but then calmed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, uh, hi, Nat,” she paused, but before either Nat or Cooper could respond, she added “What’s this about, guys?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat and Cooper both looked at each other. Cooper cleared his throat. “So, we have . . . a proposition for you. Involving the . . . Naked Brothers Band. There’s pay!” he added quickly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina smiled. “Guys, I don’t really play that type of music anymore. Or much music at all, really. And even so, I’m sorry, but that period of my life is behind me,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat sighed, but he wasn’t sure why - he’d expected that to be her answer. “Just - just hear me out, Rosalina,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sat back in her chair, curious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I really think this would be good for us - </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’ve been friends with David and Thomas since we were four, and we don’t even speak anymore, and those two despise each other. You know, it’s messed up that that relationship is ruined. And Quassim and Kristina deserve a platform to be able show the world their incredible music. And Alex - things have been really fucked up for him since Dad died. I think he needs something to remind him of a time where he was happy to get back on his feet,” Nat didn’t harp on the fact that that statement could apply to him as well as Alex.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina pushed her hair from her face. “It’s . . . it’s a sweet thought, Nat, really, it is. But I don’t think those other guys would even go for it . . .”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’ve already agreed,” Cooper explained. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh . . . wow,” said Rosalina. “What about Kristina?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s in,” said Nat. He knew that Rosalina had always felt a little envious of Kristina, so he quickly added, “But we can’t do a reunion concert without you. You’re a founding member of the band.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a job out here, a life. I can’t drop everything for this,” she exclaimed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It would just be about a two week rehearsal process and then the reunion concert. You don’t even have to do press for it if you don’t want to. We just really feel that this will be good for everyone, especially Alex,” said Cooper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina looked around for a second, and then straight at Nat. “Nat, you really think people still care about us enough to tune in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat smiled for the first time then. “Rosalina, our band’s nostalgia account has five million followers and that’s not even including the followers we all have individually. People </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>still care.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope,” she muttered and then looked back up at the camera. “Okay. I’ll do it - if you guys can fly me out, of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat’s face lit up without him meaning for it to. Cooper clapped happily. “Yes! Okay, awesome, of course, of course we’ll fly you out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then I’ll be there . . .?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sunday!” Cooper confirmed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sunday,” she smiled. She and Cooper spoke a bit more about specifics, while Nat just sat there and smiled. He couldn’t believe this was happening and that he actually felt . . . happy? Is this what happiness felt like? It had been so long since he’d felt anything like it that he’d forgotten it all together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*********</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sunday came so fast, that it almost felt Nat hadn’t been doing any waiting for it all. He’d been excited, but by the time that he came, he was overcome with nervousness about the way that the day would go. What if everyone fought the whole time? What if he had another breakdown? What if Alex showed up drunk? There were too many possibilities and it left him with overwhelming anxiety. Thankfully, Kristina had come over early and held his hand through one of his panic attacks like she always did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s gonna be fine. I’ll make sure it will,” she whispered to him. He wanted to point out that she was supposed to still be mad at him, but he held his tongue. Instead, he just squeezed her hand tighter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex arrived next (surprisingly more sober than Nat had seen him in a while) and had taken Kristina away from him to talk about the songs that they wanted to play. Cooper followed shortly after with David, who Nat was actually happy to see. There hadn’t been any bad blood between them, they’d just grown apart. David gave him and Alex hugs and Kristina a kiss on the cheek. (“Wow, David, you got </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Kristina commented, running her hand up his arm. He laughed and blushed, but said nothing.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as they had all started catching up, Quassim showed up with what Nat assumed was his agent. Cooper pulled the agent aside to talk business, while Quassim gave everyone an awkward hello (except for Kristina, who he greeted warmly). Quickly though, they all began discussing the songs that they wanted to play at the concert.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, we obviously have to do ‘If That’s Not Love’ and ‘Crazy Car,’” said Alex. “Those are like, our biggest hits,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think we should do ‘Fishing for Love’ since I have a guitar solo in it,” said Quassim.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I always loved the orchestration of that one, Nat,” said Kristina, scooting closer to him as if she could sense his discomfort. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got to admit, it was pretty rad for a ten year old,” Quassim said. Nat smiled a little bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David kept anxiously checking the door, and Nat had a feeling that he wasn’t doing it for the same reason as he was. And as if right on cue, there came Thomas. David looked away immediately, but Alex stood up to say hello as they all greeted him. “Look, I’m just gonna make it clear that I’m only here for the paycheck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’ll be the first paycheck you’ve seen in a long time,” said Alex bluntly as always.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Watch it, twat, or I’ll be giving page six my exclusive on your fifth relapse,” Thomas said, towering above Alex.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat shook his head and left the room, needing a cigarette badly. He couldn’t deal with this shit. He’d thought he could, that it would be just like old times, but obviously not. Everyone still hated each other. As he left, though, he heard Kristina say “If you idiots ruin this for Nat I will kick your butts any day of these next two weeks. After that, you can get fucked for all I care,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“David would love that,” said Thomas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you,” David stated with obvious malice, and that was all Nat heard before he made it outside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe this “reunion” should’ve just been him, Kristina and Alex. Yeah, that would’ve been fun. Practices in their apartment on Nat’s king size bed while Lucky played at their feet. None of the stress that came with this bullshit. And he was starting to suspect that the rumors he’d always ignored about David were true, and he didn’t want his former friend to have to deal with Thomas’s bigotry. There was a lot that everyone didn’t deserve to deal with. Except Thomas. And maybe Quassim. And Cooper hadn’t even wanted to do this, but had agreed just to make him happy. Nat wished he could tell him that nothing could keep him happy for too long -</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then, stepping out of a taxi, with their gorgeous newly dyed black hair flowing behind them and those same beautiful brown eyes that he’d loved so much as a kid looking at him, was Rosalina. Nat dropped his cigarette. Seeing her on Skype was one thing, but seeing her in person was another. And it was like nothing had changed, like all the fighting going on inside was mute and nonexistent, because now he was nine years old again, enamored by Josh’s older step sister who smiled at him like he was more than “Nat the Girl Magnet” and kissed him on the cheek when he’d admitted his feelings for her. His heart was going to fucking beat out of his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nat,” she said simply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rosalina,” He loved the way her name sounded in his voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were a few awkward moments of silence before she finally shrugged and pulled him in for a hug. He wasn’t sure what to do at first, if he should hug her back or pat her on the back, but once he could smell the same perfume she’d worn their entire lives, he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around her. Her head on his chest felt so nice. He’d never held her like this before, because they’d been the same height last time they’d seen each other. It was a reminder of how things had changed, but maybe in a good way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, they pulled apart. “I’m sorry I’m late,” she said. “I had . . . something to take care of,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trust me, you didn’t miss much. Just . . .” he hesitated, wondering if she’d leave if he told her the guys were already fighting. “Nothing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, I’m actually excited to see everyone. I was watching some of our old documentary footage on the plane. We all had some good times,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just stared at her, so fascinated by everything about her. He wanted to ask her so much. He had so much he wanted to tell her. His anger at her from the other day was all forgotten for the time being. She noticed him staring and went to brush some hair from his face. “You uh, you look really good, Nat. Puberty was good to you,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat blushed, looking at his shoes. “You uh, you do too. But I mean, you always did. You never really had an awkward phase,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d beg to differ,” she giggled. “Care to escort a lady inside?” Rosalina held out her arm for him, and he took it, shocked by the fact that she wanted to spend any time with him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She has a boyfriend, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he reminded himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two of them walked up the stairs into the building, arms linked and chuckling together like a couple of kids. Nat almost forgot there were other people there. Kristina’s excited “Rosalina!” brought him back into reality as the two girls hugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s one guy here who isn’t a fag,” said Thomas. “Good one, Nat. When do you plan on hitting that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat shut his eyes, mortified. Rosalina unlinked herself and put her hands on her hips. “Nice seeing you too, Thomas.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let’s just get started in discussing the set list, alright?” said Cooper. Everyone muttered a “fine” as they all sat down on the couches. Thomas and David sat as far from each other as humanly possible, while Kristina stayed close to Nat, even though he secretly wished she wouldn’t in case Rosalina noticed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within twenty minutes, they’d decided on:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If That’s Not Love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sometimes I’ll Be There</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Face in the Hall</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just a Girl I Know</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Curious</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Body I Occupy</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I Don’t Want to Go to School</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Good for You </span>
  </em>
  <span>(Quassim’s song)</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Pretty Girls </span>
  </em>
  <span>(Kristina’s song)</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll Do Anything</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m Out</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Motormouth</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your Smile</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Crazy Car</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something’s missing on this list,” said Alex. Nat shot him a look, but he continued on. “You absolutely cannot have a NBB reunion without the song that brought us back after the Silver Boulders,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hardcore Wrestlers with Inner Feelings</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” said Kristina.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Rosalina!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Alex exclaimed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alex, I - I can’t play that,” said Nat. “I’m not nine anymore. It was cute then. Now, it’s just pathetic. Besides, it’ll make me look like a dick. She has a boyfriend,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina blushed. “No, no, I think it would be cute. I mean, I think the fans would really love it,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat smiled for a second, but then he thought to himself once more </span>
  <em>
    <span>she has a boyfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span>. There was no use getting attached to the prospect of her, because she’d be gone in two weeks. And even the thought of playing that stupid song was enough to send him into a whirlpool of anxiety and self doubt, but if </span>
  <em>
    <span>she </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted him to play it . . . he couldn’t refuse. He could never say no to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” said Cooper. “Then it’s settled. We’ll play ‘Rosalina’ right before we close with ‘Crazy Car!’”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone sat there in silence, no one knowing what else to say now that the business was taken care of. Kristina, though, waited no longer than fifteen seconds to say “Should we rehearse now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rehearsal went about a half hour (badly, obviously. They hadn’t all played together in nearly eight years) before David backed into Thomas and Thomas had told him not to touch him, and then Rosalina had flinched like she expected it to get violent, and then Alex had pulled out his “water bottle” and Nat had snatched it away, leading into everyone shouting and arguing. Quassim claimed he wasn’t one for “childish drama,” put his guitar back in the case and left, which led to David saying he couldn’t handle any more for today and exiting, which led to Thomas asking Cooper for an advance in his pay, which led to Kristina taking Alex to go get some </span>
  <em>
    <span>actual </span>
  </em>
  <span>water, leaving Nat and Rosalina alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was quiet for a moment, until Nat finally said, “So, fill me in. What’s been going on with you? I mean, aside from the stuff they said on last week’s Behind the Music.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She laughed, “Oh, you saw that? They totally exaggerated. I mean, Gustave isn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>much older than me. Just fifteen years,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” said Nat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. And what about you? I heard you toured with Taylor Swift! Is ‘Lover’ about you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now it was Nat’s turn to laugh. “No, no. She’s just a friend. Her boyfriend could definitely kick my ass,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you’re a lover, not a fighter?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Always have been,” he shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina’s grin faded for a moment. “Yeah. You have . . . can I ask you a question?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything,” said Nat, taking his hands off his keyboard. Rosalina put down her guitar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked anywhere but at him. “Why - why . . . I mean, did you . . . that last concert, that I wasn’t at, was . . . what happened . . . about me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes! </span>
  </em>
  <span>His brain screamed. “The uh, the incident on stage or what happened after?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Both.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cleared his throat. “Um, I don’t know, I guess, it was kind of just . . . everything at once,” It was bullshit, but he didn’t want to piss her off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So I did have </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do with it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh . . . yeah, I guess. I mean, I wasn’t exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That I was going to Harvard? I mean, you weren’t happy for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I was happy for you. I was just . . . I don’t know. It was just a reminder that I wasn’t good enough for you, I guess,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina scoffed. “Really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nat, you’ve always had this mindset that I’m so much better than you and that I can do so much better. I’ve never viewed it that way! I mean, you’ve always been . . . well, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>used to be </span>
  </em>
  <span>exactly what I wanted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat squinted, surprised. “Then why did you leave? I mean, for school obviously, but why didn’t you ever try to get back together before that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina turned behind her, to where Kristina was reentering the studio. Nat raised his eyebrows, and whispered, “What? No, Kristina - she never - we never - well, we never </span>
  <em>
    <span>then, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but she wasn’t even on my radar!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what about now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now, she . . . we . . . it’s complicated.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not really. I see the way she looks at you,” Rosalina bit her lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She looks at me the way she’s always looked at me,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” she picked up her bottle of water from the floor and took a sip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat thought about it for a second. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility, but Kristina knew that what they had going on was just sex. She couldn’t possibly expect anything more. Sure, he knew she always had a little crush on him, but he figured that was nothing. It was probably just because she loved the band so much as a kid. And then he thought, and said out loud, “Why does this even matter? You have a boyfriend!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina nodded, and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re right. I do. And he’ll be really worried if I don’t get back to the hotel soon,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turned to leave and Nat wanted to stop her, but he couldn’t work up the courage. Instead, he just let her walk away, just like he had all those years ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was pouring rain that night, which fit Nat’s mood. Kristina had offered to look after Alex for the night so he could have time for himself. He made a point to give her a thank you kiss on the cheek and took note of the face she made when he did it. She looked happy, but he didn’t think that was overly strange. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat lay on his bed, thinking. He really did miss everything so much, the way it was during their first couple of tours, before everyone’s egos started inflating and everyone’s attitudes started harshing. Mostly, he missed Alex being happy. And Rosalina. Why had she ever thought that he would’ve chosen Kristina over her? It would’ve - he </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>would’ve - would he have? Maybe at the time. But not forever. He loved Kristina dearly, but in the way one loves a really good friend. Who they happen to be fucking. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He could’ve been with Rosalina this whole time if he hadn’t been so blind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a knock at the door then. It was probably just Cooper, but he was shocked when he opened the door to find a soaking wet Rosalina. His face must’ve looked surprised, because she said, “Is it - okay if I come in?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded quickly. “Yeah, yeah, of course,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then he noticed that her head was bleeding and she had a bruise on her wrist. He instantly became concerned. “What - what happened? Are you alright? What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I uh, I got mugged on my way home,” she said, bending over to pet Lucky. Nat hurried to get her some towel, as well as some ice from the freezer. He wanted to grab her some clothes to wear, but decided he needed to tend to her right now. He led her to sit on the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to call Cooper? Or the police? Or Gustave -?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! No, no, no. I just . . . I don’t want to call anyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat almost asked why she wasn’t home with her boyfriend, but he didn’t. Instead, he wrapped the towel around her shoulders and started to dry her off. She blushed, and pushed her hair from her face. Her hand on his leg jolted him alive, and he suddenly felt different than he had in a long time. But he had to stop it, quickly. “Let me get you some clothes,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon, Rosalina was dressed in some sweatpants, as well as his favorite sweatshirt that used to be his father’s, and was sitting on the couch with tea. Her legs were kicked up on the automan, and she was telling him a million different stories about her time at Harvard, her job and about how her father had passed last year.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m - I’m so sorry, I didn’t know,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s okay,” she paused. “I’m sorry, you know? That I didn’t come back when it happened,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He instantly knew what she meant and he nodded. The apology meant a lot. “It’s okay,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not. I was just really scared that you wouldn’t want to talk to me,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat laughed, “I’ll always talk to you. Even if you really make me angry, I’d still talk to you,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina stared at him, and then moved closer to him. “Nat . . . I came here tonight because I need your help. And when you and Cooper called me, I thought that maybe this was God’s way of telling me that you guys would help me. If I . . . if I had a problem, like a really big problem, you’d help me, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sighed loudly. “I didn’t get mugged tonight. I lied because I didn’t want to start with this,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Start with what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She closed her eyes, and put her tea on a coaster. “Nat . . . he hits me. Gustave hits me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t process for a moment. Men hitting women was something Nat couldn’t fathom, or even believe. He wasn’t naive enough to believe there weren’t bad people in the world, but the fact that it could happen at all, </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever, </span>
  </em>
  <span>made him so upset. Not even angry, just upset. And it happening to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rosalina </span>
  </em>
  <span>was just . . . “What?” he said, wanting to make sure he heard right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He did this,” she said, tearing up. As soon as that happened, and her voice broke, Nat moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him. She leaned into him immediately. “And I’m sorry that I’m putting this on you and I know you must be really stressed out with everything happening with Alex, but I - I don’t have anyone else. All my friends are his friends. My apartment is in his name. Everything I do comes back to him, and when you called me, and you weren’t mad, I was reminded of the way that I could be treated. And I knew that you would help me,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t even focus on being happy that she’d come to him. Nat was so angry, he thought he was going to throw something or hit someone. The last fight he’d been in . . . he couldn’t even remember. But he was seeing red. He pulled Rosalina closer without meaning to, needing something to do with his hands so he didn’t lose his shit. Nat must’ve been quiet for too long, because Rosalina pulled away and said, “Nat, please say something. I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You should’ve. You should’ve,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina took a deep breath. “So . . . do you think you can help me? I can’t go back to that hotel. Today was the last time he’ll ever hit me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course. You’ll never have to talk to that bastard again. I’ll call Cooper in the morning and we’ll see about getting you a lawyer out here - you know, since you guys probably know a lot out there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sighed in relief. “You really think someone will want to help? I mean, it’ll be all over the news . . .”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t have to be. We can pay everyone to keep quiet. But, you shouldn’t be ashamed. None of this is your fault,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina started crying again. Nat wiped a tear away, and put his hands on her arms. “Why are you crying?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” she shook her head, which made her cry even harder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They didn’t talk much the rest of the night. Rosalina wasn’t up for talking anymore. She said that she just wanted to be with him right now, and pretend that everything outside was alright, and Nat felt the same. He wanted to hide Rosalina away from the rest of the world, not because she was some fine precious thing, but because he was too terrified that any second away from her would lead to that psycho coming near her again. Instead of talking, Nat got her a blanket, and went to the piano and played her “I’ll Do Anything.” While she was still crying, she was smiling now. Then, he led her into his bedroom and they laid down, staring at each other for a while before Rosalina fell asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They called Cooper in the morning. He came over, and he and Rosalina spoke for a while, while Nat busied himself on the phone, begging Kristina to take Alex for a few more days. He didn’t say why, but he knew that she knew it had something to do with Rosalina. She didn’t question it, because she was good to him like that, and he knew he didn’t deserve it. And then he’d gone in his room and had an anxiety attack thinking about how angry he was, but he couldn’t let Rosalina know or see. This wasn’t about him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once Cooper left, they didn’t talk about the truth looming over them. Rosalina taught him a couple of songs that she’d written on guitar, and he taught her some of his. They took Lucky on a walk, and ordered in chinese food, and talked and laughed, and then at Rosalina’s request, he put on their documentary from 2005 and they made fun of all the clothing, and their high voices, and got quiet at the parts featuring Alex’s soda problem. And when it came down to that first concert in Chicago, Rosalina put her head on Nat’s shoulder. He didn’t want to think about kissing her, but he couldn’t help it. It was always there, like white noise. But it was wrong. And he thought to himself that maybe she was only with him right now because she knew he could depend on him - the way you depend on a friend. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>implied that she didn’t want him like that anymore. It was wrong to even think about, with everything going on right now, so he ignored it. Maybe she didn’t even like him, just the </span>
  <em>
    <span>idea </span>
  </em>
  <span>of him. Like she just enjoyed the nostalgia of it all, the memories that they’d shared together. Would that be so bad, though? She was still staying with him - </span>
  <em>
    <span>no, </span>
  </em>
  <span>no. It would be bad. Loving the idea of him was something most girls seemed to do. Nat didn’t know if he’d ever come across a single girl who’d loved him for him - except Rosalina. She fell in love with him because of who he was, not because of his image or because of his talent, but because of his heart. So why was he so scared that that wasn’t the why things were now? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because he was always scared. He was always fucking terrified. About everything. And to believe someone could want him for other reasons besides sex was out of the realm of possibility for him. Sure, there was Alex, but Alex didn’t really want to be helped. He just wanted someone to look after him to make sure he didn’t kill himself. Nat thought that he couldn’t really blame him for that, because that was basically his relationship with Kristina. He felt like he was using her to keep him comforted, which wasn’t fair, because he did like her. But he could live without her. He didn’t think that he could truly </span>
  <em>
    <span>live </span>
  </em>
  <span>without Rosalina, but it wasn’t fair to expect anything from her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper had given them the day off from rehearsal to cool off, and Rosalina had left early the next morning so that she could go for a walk. Nat showed up a half an hour before they were supposed to, thinking that he was going to be early. Instead, before he walked in, he heard the voices of David and Kristina. He stopped, standing outside the entrance way when he heard what they were talking about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, what even happened?” came Kristina’s voice. “Between you and Thomas? You guys used to be best friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Used to be’ is the key term. People grow apart,” David explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not the way you guys did. It was like one day you were inseparable, and the next day, you couldn’t stand the sight of each other.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a . . . it’s a rough story, Kristina,” David sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can tell me, if you want. I can keep a secret,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you can. It’s just hard to talk about, I guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I get it, it’s okay . . .”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I guess I should tell someone eventually. Well, Cooper knows. But that was more so he could keep it under wraps than anything else,” said David. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Are they really going to talk about what I think they’re going to talk about? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Nat thought. David was quiet for a moment, and then said, almost silently, “I’m gay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Kristina was anyone else, she would’ve said “Well, duh,” but she was Kristina, so she didn’t. Instead she said, “Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” said David. “And . . . for a long time I was in denial about it. But then came that time where Thomas was so jealous of the attention Nat gets and I realized that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>jealous. Like I couldn’t care less what the girls thought of me. And I wondered why that was, and then one day I looked at Thomas, and I realized why that was,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So . . . you and Thomas . . .”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We kissed,” David confessed. “Once. And then the next day, he wouldn’t even look at me. He called me . . . he called me a queer, and told me that if I ever touched him again, he’d kill me. But I know that he didn’t mean that. That there was something between us. He kissed me back. It wasn’t like I attacked with my lips or something,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat could envision Kristina putting her hand on his shoulder. “I think, I think he was my first love,”  David whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude, that really sucks,” she said. “I’m sorry,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And sometimes I feel like the guys who came after can’t compare. Like I’m always going to love him, even though he hates my guts,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kristina took a breath. “Can I tell </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> a secret?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David must’ve nodded, because Kristina continued. “I’ve been in love with Nat since the day I met him. And sometimes I don’t think he even knows I exist,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat’s breath caught in his throat. Rosalina was right. He was such an idiot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not a secret,” David chuckled. “I think everyone knows that, </span>
  <em>
    <span>except</span>
  </em>
  <span> for Nat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But regardless, I don’t think anyone ever really gets over their first love. They’re like, a part of your soul forever, no matter how dumb that sounds,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not dumb,” said David. “I wish I could do something to fix things with Thomas, though. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t gay, just so he’d talk to me, but then I think that if I wasn’t gay, I wouldn’t be me. No one knows - well, my mom, and Cooper, and obviously the guys I’ve been with, but no one else. But it’s still me. And if Thomas can’t handle that, maybe he’s not the guy I thought he was,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kristina kissed him on the cheek. Nat closed his eyes, and thought this was a good time to enter the room and announce his presence. “Hey guys,” he said. They both turned from the couch. Kristina’s face lit up and Nat’s stomach turned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Nat,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Nat,” said David.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat sighed. “I know this is like, random or whatever, but I’m sorry if this was a bad idea. Like getting everyone back together. I was being selfish.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>David shook his head. “No, no. Being real with you - I missed this. Even if Thomas is an asshole, and Quassim is full of himself, and you and Alex are always one step away from a mental break - I missed playing music with my friends,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat put his hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, man. I appreciate that,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kristina was smiling at him then with a twinkle in her eye. Feeling guilty all of a sudden, Nat moved to put his arm around her. Maybe she would take it as something more, but he thought that it was a good idea that might make her happy and prove that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>know she existed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But of course, right on cue, Rosalina walked in with Cooper. Nat immediately let go of her, knowing he was a dick, but not being able to control himself. He was still the same little boy he was fifteen years ago - willing to do anything to make his love happy. “Hey,” she smiled, despite him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you guys?” asked Cooper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina made her way over to Nat, and wrapped her arm around his waist. Kristina gave him a look, and he honestly didn’t know how to react to it. He wasn’t sure what was going on either and his concerns from yesterday hadn’t disappeared. Still, though, he gave her a kiss on the forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sexy,” said Thomas, entering the room. Rosalina let go of Nat and scratched at the back of her head. Nat rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh great, the gang’s all here,” said Alex, following right behind Thomas. He was obviously inebriated. Nat and Cooper looked at each other, and the room became silent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kristina whispered, “I only left him alone for an hour,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s more than enough time,” said Nat, annoyed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rosalina, baby!” Alex threw his arms around her. “How you been? Still as sexy as ever!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alex!” said Nat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rosalina shrugged him off awkwardly. Thomas was laughing his ass off, and David had taken to watching the door for Quassim’s entrance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should I call someone?” asked Cooper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who are you gonna call?” said Nat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GHOSTBUSTERS!” shouted Thomas. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“SHUT UP, THOMAS!” said Nat and Kristina in unison. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex began rocking from side to side, singing “Three is Enough” the best that he could. “Come on guys, get the instruments out, let’s go! Oh wait, that’s right - we’re not playing any of my songs. Only Nat’s.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even Thomas shut up at that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me, Cooper, why is that? Why is everything always about Nat?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nat wasn’t sure where this was coming from - it was completely out of nowhere. “The music, the girls, the everything. Everyone always loves Nat. Nat, the front man. Nat, the girl magnet. Nat, Nat, Nat,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Nat couldn’t help but say, “Are you fucking kidding me? I haven’t had a life of my own in years! All I do is look after you!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex pulled out a tiny bottle from his pocket and took a sip before Nat could stop him. He then tossed the empty bottle into a wall. Quassim entered the room, and David hushed him before he could ask what was going on. “You’re so </span>
  <em>
    <span>responsible, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Nat, aren’t you? Always the responsible one! That’s why Daddy always loved you best,” He pulled out another tiny bottle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alex, what . . .?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Alex, I think it’s time we took you home,” said Cooper, walking towards him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no!” said Alex. Cooper continued trying to wrestle with him for the bottle, until they were backing up. “Stop it! Cooper, stop it! Leave me alone!” And then Cooper was backing him towards a window, and before anyone knew what was happening, Alex’s hand with the bottle in it was going through the glass. Rosalina brought her hands up to her face in shock, and Kristina screamed. Nat hurried over towards them, to inspect Alex’s bloody hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nat, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, just - just - let me . . .”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t feel so good,” said Alex. And then he was passing out into Nat’s arms.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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